Proposals can be so romantic, you feel like you’re in a movie. But unfortunately, not everything after the question is popped will be happily ever after. This time together planning your romantic celebration is incredible and will likely bring the two of you together… But it is also stressful and may cause some tension at times. It is best to know ahead of time that there are some thoughts and opinions you’ll want to express gently in order to avoid hurt feelings and arguments. Here is your guide on what to avoid saying to your fiancé.

1. “Let’s just elope.”

Let’s be honest, planning a wedding is stressful and you may blurt this sentence out more than once—just be sure that your fiancé knows you don’t mean it. Marriage is hard work and planning your wedding is nothing compared to some of the challenges you two will face together. You don’t want your fiancé to think that you will take the easy way out every time you face a stressful situation. Furthermore, your fiancé is probably feeling a lot of stress as well and if you don’t seem fully committed to the task, he/she may feel more tension building on them. Just be clear that you don’t mean it when you say the planning is too much and show your commitment. If the stress if really getting to either or both of you, take a night off to do a special no-wedding-planning-talk date night.

Photo Credit: J Noel Photography

2. “I don’t want to plan that part of the wedding.”

It’s not wrong to have certain aspects of the wedding you care less about than others, but what does matter is how you phrase that to your spouse-to-be. If, for example, you are uninterested in picking the bouquet arrangements, discuss with your fiancé the possibility of divvying up the tasks so that you take on other tasks. There may be several things that you are both either particularly interested or uninterested in taking on, so make sure you assign the fun and tedious tasks evenly.

3. “Let’s sell the car to pay for the wedding.”

Finances are going to be a big part of your marriage and this wedding is just the beginning of your lives together. Don’t start your marriage in debt by going beyond your own budget. Your wedding is going to be a very special day regardless of how much you spend on it, so study up on ways to save some dollars for your big celebration.

Photo Credit: University of Pittsburgh Research

4. “I want to invite everyone I ever went to school with.”

Okay, so this probably won’t be the exact way you would phrase the idea, but the point is that your guest list is limited and you and your partner need to compromise how many people each of you will invite. Begin cutting your guest list by considering your budget, the size of your venue and who you truly care about being with on your wedding day. Keep in mind that your side of the guest list may make up for only half of the total.

5. “But you’re going to lose weight before the wedding, right?”

It doesn’t matter if it came from his/her mouth first, do not have your spouse thinking that you want them losing weight for the wedding! Many people choose to get in shape for their big day and that’s perfectly fine, but keep in mind that losing weight when you’re stressed can be very difficult (not impossible, of course) and insensitively-phrased pressure can harm your partner’s self confidence and cause hurt feelings. Instead, if you feel like healthy living and exercise should be part of your wedding prep, propose a routine for the two of you to do together.

Photo Credit: Marianne Taylor Photography

There are a lot of things you should be aware of before your wedding, but when it comes to being on good terms with your fiancé, nothing is more important. Be sure to be sensitive to your spouse-to-be and don’t let the pressure of wedding planning create any unnecessary arguments between you.