Dominance is the biggest mistake ordinary men make. They are so confused by a society that devalues men that they find themselves misunderstanding the clear messages their women are sending them, practically begging these guys to step up and man up.
In this article, I’ll give you a quick Exceptional Man definition of dominance and then a brief primer on practicing it in your relationship. Especially if your relationship is broken or headed south.
Dominance is leadership. It is picking someplace you want to go. Someplace great. And finding out what it will take to get there, by going there. And the final critical piece: you invite someone along for the adventure. Someone who must be willing to help.
To practice dominance, there are three areas you will need to focus on. I’ll give you the areas and a short action plan to get you started in each.
-
- Dominate yourself. The first step is being able to handle you. Ordinary guy doesn’t even realize that he’s not steering his own ship. He’s like a leaf in the wind. Feelings. Events. How others treat him. His wife’s demands. Thoughts occur to him and sidetrack him. What do you do about all that? You take the wheel. And that means you decide on a goal. And you go after it. Start small. Lose ten pounds. Clean up your office or den. Get the bills organized and paid ahead. Whatever. Pick something. Doing this will put you in contact with the three challenges of dominating yourself (which are the real things you have been avoiding facing). a) You are weak and imperfect (but also awesome.) b) You will be judged and things will go wrong. c) You will be making decisions with limited information… Welcome to the game.
-
- Dominate your circumstances. In articles we can separate these pieces out. But in real life you will be doing all three of these at once. Because while you are trying to lose weight, you will be dealing with more than just your internal resistance. The practice of handling your circumstances has three parts as well. a) You must accept and face what is (but never resign yourself to it). b) You will question what is possible. c) You will test it.
- Dominate your relationships. And this is why you are here. Dealing with other people in a dominant, but real way is the biggest challenge of all. If you haven’t been practicing the two above, it’s no wonder this one has been going bad. Relationships are like the advanced placement class of life. Or the Double Jeopardy round. Bigger challenges, but also bigger payoffs. Luckily, the lessons learned above translate directly to your relationships. The challenges are all reflections of each other. So with your woman (and all your other relationships) you will be called to… a) Accept her for who she is. b) Wonder what she can become. c) Test her.
