How to Know When You’re Ready to Date Again

For whatever reason you broke up with your ex a while back. You are toying with the idea of dating again as you have a feeling that you may be ready to date again. But how do you know when you are ready to date again?

1. The pain is gone! You no longer ache for your ex. However acrimonious or cordial your breakup was; you will go through a period of loss, pain and grieving for your ex, the relationship and the promise of future joy and happiness that your relationship gave you. If you have laid to rest the relationship and all the promises it held for you then you are ready to date again. If however you still feel sad and despondent about the relationship and what could have been then you are not ready to date again.

2. You can be genuinely cordial with your ex! You don’t need to pretend anymore with your ex as you feel no animosity toward them anymore. You may not want to be friends with them anymore but your heart is at peace with who they are and you can treat them humanly. You no longer map your day to ensure that you avoid them as you have no problem talking to them. You can be in the presence of your ex without being negative or sarcastic to them. If you can honestly do this then you are ready to date again. However if can barely stand to be in the presence of your ex then you are still emotionally attached to them and you are not ready to start dating again.

3. Your ex doesn’t occupy your thoughts all the time! Once a relationship is over the tendency will be to think longingly and constantly about your ex. For some reason you remember all their cute and quirky ways and that just seems to be what preoccupies your mind. Normal daily things remind you of your ex all the time. If you still longingly think about your ex constantly then you are not ready to date again. If on the other hand your mind is occupied by other things and you only think of your ex occasionally without resentment or desperate longing for them, then you are ready to start dating again.

4. You have found your joy for living! When the relationship ended something went from your life and your joy for living diminished with the exit of your ex. You of course didn’t stop living but the joy and exuberance you once had just vanished or diminished. You know in your heart that you are living at half or even a quarter of your normal joy level. If this is you then you are not ready to start dating again. If on the other hand you are back to your ‘old self’ as we often say so that you are happy and joyful living and being you again then you are ready to start dating again.

If you are at these four levels then you are ready to start dating again but if you are not then give yourself a little more time to unwind and get free from your emotional entanglement to your ex. You must be completely done with your ex not just physically but also emotionally in order to start a new relationship that has a chance of succeeding.

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Richard J . Watson

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