Your relationship has become progressively boring in the sense that the excitement has diminished with time and it is now only a distant memory. You are not unhappy in the relationship but you are vaguely dissatisfied and you sorely miss the excitement and spark that you once had. Is it possible to get the spark back into your relationship? What do you need to do to get the spark back into your relationship?
I. Do the things that you used to do. When you had the spark and excitement in your relationship what deeds did you used to do for your partner? Did you spend hours talking with your partner about everything and nothing? Where you intensely interested in everything that concerned them? Did you actively and deliberately make time to hang out with them? Did you constantly look for interesting gifts and tokens for them? Did you do things for them that you knew they would enjoy? Think back and remember the specifics that you did and start doing those things that brought your partner joy and made them know they were loved by you; and you will reignite the spark back in your relationship.
II. Appreciate your partner constantly. No one can resist genuine appreciation and admiration and if you want your partner to grow alive again then give them the ammunition to do so by having a grateful heart and attitude toward them. Acknowledge today that your partner is great and they have some great character traits and they do some things wonderfully. And let them know often how great they really are but don’t do it if it is not true. Observe what your partner does well and appreciate that. Let your partner know in clear and concise terms exactly what it is that you appreciate about their character and their behavior. Appreciate them whenever they display the character or behavior that you love and appreciate. Your speech needs to build up your partner and the more appreciated and loved they feel then they will reciprocate with time; and you will get the spark back in your relationship.
III. Love your partner practically! Your relationship has changed and so has your partner and you need to understand how you can love them practically today. Are they overwhelmed at work or stressed out by life? What can you do practically to make life easier for them? Do you understand your partner’ love language? What things or deeds make them feel loved? Find a way to learn your partner’s love language and then talk that language. When your partner begins to feel loved they will naturally be more loving to you; and you will get the spark back in your relationship.
You will need an attitude change in order to do the work required to get the spark back in your relationship.