What Does a Healthy Long Distance Relationship Look Like?

Long distance relationships can be complex and usually take time, effort, and practice to get right. One question that many people have is what does a healthy one look like? Not literally, of course, but if you’ve ever wondered what should happen in a strong distance connection, you’re not alone.

Keep in mind that every one is different.

Just like you and your partner are different than your friends and family members, your relationship will be different too. A big mistake many people make is to look at someone else’s bond (sometimes from a romantic movie or even worse, a soap opera!) and think that’s how all romantic relationships should and must be. This is of course, not so! Variety is the spice of life, so don’t think your connection must look a certain way.

Second, take an inventory of your relationship.

If you are feeling happy, fulfilled, and whole, then chances are your connection is working and healthy! Therefore, a healthy relationship should look just like yours! And if you have friends that are in fulfilling and warm distance love, then healthy relationships should look like theirs! Everyone’s will look different, but the defining features are happiness and fulfillment!

Next, notice common positives in other long distance relationships.

I know a woman who was in a long distance relationship with her husband all the way up until they met up for marriage. They’d known each other briefly in passing, but the majority of their relationship was built through letters, and later, very expensive phone calls! When I asked her how their experience was, she said it was great because “We loved each other. I knew he cared about me and wanted me to be happy and was willing to sacrifice to make that happen. I was the same way with him, and even though we were apart, we both knew how much the other cared.”

So, just like it would in a regular setting, the same variables will determine how healthy your relationship is. Do you care about each other? Are you both willing to sacrifice? Do you put the other person’s happiness and well being ahead of your own? If you are achieving these things, chances are you have a strong connection. Who knows, maybe in the future, you will be the people that others in a long distance relationship look towards to determine if their bond is healthy!

But, as always, don’t get upset if yours isn’t perfect right away. People often fall short of our expectations, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world (or the end of your friendship). More important than the letdowns is the question of whether your partner is willing to try and better themselves. If they are, then chances are you are on the road towards a healthy long distance relationship.

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Richard J . Watson

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